So, my cat Lucy is approximately 19 years old. I've had her since she was a kitten and she was always a tiny kitty with a big personality and also some big sensitivities. She has grown to be sweeter and more social with age, but her digestive and potty issues have gotten worse. We had to put her "brother" (they weren't actually related) down about 3 years ago when he was about the same age, but that decision was much easier because his problems were more immediately life threatening and his deterioration happened much faster. She hasn't used a litter box in years - instead she uses several doggie training pads with newspaper on them, one of which resides on our kitchen table since she decided that was her new spot about a year ago. Not only is it disgusting, but we basically can't use that table as long as she is around. Shortly after our last cat passed, she was diagnosed with kidney failure and put on a special diet and subcutaneous fluids at least 3x/week (fluid injected under the skin to rehydrate her-and yes, that is our job here at home), and since then we've had to introduce a variety of other different meds for thyroid control, mouth lesions, vomiting, heart murmor, and now after last week (and $400) pancreatitis. Giving pills to a cat is not easy. For the longest time, I would crush them up and put it in her food but she is not a good eater! She WANTS to eat like 10x/day but she either doesn't want anything I give her (and at this point she is allowed to eat anything she wants in an attempt to keep some weight on her), or she will take a few nibbles and wander off only for another animal to take the rest. On top of that, she has mouth ulcers and fractured teeth that need to be removed (which i doubt is cheap), which make it really hard for her to chew even the most watered down food I swear she is more dificult to feed than my own or any other child I have ever met!! So the medicine in the food is not the best way to ensure she gets her meds. Therefore, I am left with trying to force it in her mouth. I left Lucy at the vet for several days last week so they could get her rehydrated and feeling a bit better. They acted liked this pill pusher thingy worked "beautifully" with her. Well, she's apparently figured it out and is unwilling to cooperate with that now too. And even though they had no problems giving her fluid while there, she bit me for the first time ever in her life the first time I tried doing it when she got back home.
So, basically, she is still a pretty happy cat, walks around, still pushes the dogs around (although she is no match for Tiger, our younger cat), and sleeps most of the day. However, even with anti-nausea meds, she vomits almost daily, eating is a nightmare for both of us, and 3-4 times/day i have to wrangle her to try to give meds or fluids. Then there is the disgusting chore of cleaning up after her bathroom habits. She doesn't seem to be in any serious pain, but I obviously have to make her really uncomfortable frequently to give her stuff that is supposed to make her comfortable until these chronic conditions eventually lead to something fatal. we have tried stopping all meds/fluids, thinking leaving her alone would improve her quality of life (over quantity), but the vomiting and constant howling from being dehydrated gets too unbearable for all of us. I don't know how she would manage if I didn't work from home, but I feel like it is affecting my productivity. I feel bad saying this, but I felt so much more relaxed for those two days she was at the vet-until I got the bill that is...
I am really struggling with the thought of putting her down. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have always had many animals growing up. I have had to put some down before but it was always so much clearer that it was their time to go. With Lucy, not only is it tough financially but it is stressful emotionally and takes up so much time. I struggle because my reasoning comes across (even to me) as "she is an inconvenience," which makes me feel awful. It does not help that everyone at the vet just raves about her being such a sweet and cool cat. She is! But one thing I have learned is that your priorities completely change when you have a child. Before Madison, I never understood how people get rid of their animals when they have a baby, but I am starting to understand. However, Lucy is basically family to me and you don't give up on family members once they become an inconvenience. And I said 6 months ago we were not going to continue spending money on her, but you call the vet because she is vomiting more often than usual, and they insist on blood work and more meds and then you end up hundreds of dollars poorer and that could have gone towards Madison. Nothing they did at the vet is what I would consider drastic measures, but all the little stuff adds up!
So, that is what has been on my mind a lot lately. I have time to think about it, but every day is a struggle...
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